Romance scam
An online relationship that turns into requests for money.
How it works
They build a months-long relationship, never meet in person, then introduce a crisis (hospital bills, customs fees) or an investment opportunity ('pig butchering').
Common scenarios to watch for
This scam shows up in several different shapes. Recognise the pattern, not just one message.
Military / oil-rig 'stuck abroad'
They claim to be deployed or on a rig and can never video call. A 'leave fee', 'satellite phone' or 'customs charge' eventually comes up.
"My love, the UN won't release my leave papers without a $1,500 admin fee. I'll repay you the moment I land."
Red flags to spot
- Have they always had an excuse to avoid video calls?
- Do they claim to be in the military, on an oil rig, or a doctor abroad?
- Have they started asking for money for travel, medical, or customs fees?
- Do they profess love unusually quickly and ask you to keep the relationship secret?
Inheritance / customs scam
Your partner inherits a fortune that's stuck in customs. A 'lawyer' contacts you for release fees — you're not the first 'fiancée' they've asked.
"Darling, the courier needs $3,200 for insurance to release the trunk. Once it's here we'll start our life together."
Red flags to spot
- Are you being asked to pay fees for an inheritance or package in customs?
- Did a 'lawyer' or official contact you through your partner's story?
- Are the fees escalating (insurance, then customs, then storage)?
- Can you independently verify the inheritance or courier exists?
Crypto-coaching pivot
The relationship slowly turns into investment 'mentoring'. They show you their 'broker' and walk you through depositing on a fake exchange.
"I want us to be financially free together. My broker opened your account — start with $500 and I'll guide every trade."
Red flags to spot
- Did the conversation shift from romance to investment advice?
- Are they offering to 'coach' you through trades on an unknown platform?
- Do they show screenshots of profits that seem too good to be true?
- Are you being asked to keep the investment secret from friends and family?
Red flags
- 🚩Always too busy to video call
- 🚩Profession that sounds impressive but hard to verify (oil rig, military)
- 🚩Asks for money or investment after building trust
What to do
- 1Reverse-image-search their profile photo.
- 2Tell a friend or family member what's happening.
- 3Stop all contact and report to Scamwatch and the platform.
Who's targeted
- Older or recently single adults on dating apps and Facebook.
- People grieving, divorced or socially isolated.
Why it works
- Weeks or months of attention create real emotional attachment.
- Once trust is built, money requests feel like 'helping a partner'.
Common variations
Different shapes of the same scam — recognise the pattern.
- 1Stuck-abroad emergency requiring urgent funds.
- 2Customs / hospital bills for a delayed gift or inheritance.
- 3Drift into 'pig-butchering' crypto investing together.
If you've already been scammed
- 1Stop all payments and contact — don't 'one last' anything.
- 2Tell a trusted friend or family member; isolation is the scammer's tool.
- 3Report to Scamwatch and contact IDCARE on 1800 595 160 for support.
Frequently asked
What if they're real and just need help?▾
A real partner will accept a video call and won't demand money via crypto or gift cards.
I'm embarrassed — should I still report?▾
Yes. Reporting is anonymous to the public and helps protect others.
Can I reverse a bank transfer?▾
Sometimes, if reported within hours. Call your bank's fraud team immediately.
Related scams
Connected patterns you should also learn — ranked by how much they overlap with this one.
Bank SMS scam
Fake bank text telling you to 'verify' a payment via a link.
Read guideParcel delivery scam
Fake AusPost or courier SMS asking for a small 'redelivery fee'.
Read guideFake government messages
myGov, Medicare, Centrelink lookalikes asking you to 'verify'.
Read guideTech support scam
Pop-ups or calls claiming your computer is infected, asking for remote access.
Read guideFake charity scam
Fake fundraisers that exploit disasters and emotional causes.
Read guideRecovery (refund) scam
Scammers targeting people who've already been scammed once.
Read guide